The Mutants at Table Nine

You know in teen movies, there's always a scene where they introduce the new kid to basically the whole school at once? It's usually in a cafeteria setting whereas the kid who is relatively neutral, both in appearance and assumed popularity, ventures from table to table pointing out a different genre of teen in each sitting. Most commonly there is your jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, skateboarders, goths or punks, the religious group and maybe some sort of wannabe stereotype group. But regardless of what other sub-cieties are present in the cafeteria at the time of introduction, there's always that ninth table. Table nine is the last and final table, the "do not engage", group, consisting mostly of mutants and just straight up unfortunate people.

My friend Wayde introduced me to this expression and it has reared it's ambiguously offensive head frequently within my vocabulary ever since. In normal life, the term is basically used to describe a bunch of straight-up wierdos. The mutants at table nine. Example: This group is doing something in your proximity that they think is hilarious but is just lame and annoys the fuck out of you. You exhude out loud, "Fuckin Table Nine".

Let's be honest. It does sound a bit harsh. But I wanted to bring this expression out into the public eye because I believe that it is a happy medium. Unless you are the ONE follower of this blog than you most problably don't know what table nine is and therefore will not be offended if someone came up to you and said "Hey T9, What's up?". The mutants at table nine, yeah they are annoying as fuck, but they have feelings too; and they're the type of people who don't really mean to be lame, so you end up feeling terrible for telling them off. So be happy that we are from now on calling you "Table Nine"...

...cause we could just call you wierdo's.